Why do the Americans hate us so?
I just love the yanks. Their hamburgers, ball-games, national ‘world’ series, huge lardy behinds, flag waving, gun toting, whooping. I could go on and on about what makes them just the cutest darn people. Before you shout ‘racist’ at me it is my experience that the Americans are among the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Sure there are exceptions but we Brits don’t have to look further than our own backyard to see that our own dick-head-to-genius ratio is actually quite high.
So why is it that the Americans hate us so? Yep, they do. Think about it. First they kick George’s ass to take over the country. Then they infect us with break dance and deedly boppers. Then just as we are reeling they hit us with rap and export Madonna to us. Now, just as we are becoming the scumbag breeding ground of Europe they smite us with social networking. I’ll swear that they have a plan to screw up our economy by grinding it to a halt while we fritter away our time tweeting, blogging and friending total strangers. It must be some kind of mind game sponsored by the CIA. Through the pervasiveness of the internet we have become Americanised. We worship the very essence of theweb, celebrity and gasoline. Before you know it our yobs will be too busy posting on Facebook to get drunk and mug an old lady. No lager louts. No Saturday night fights. No football hooligans. All locked away behind their screens, tapping away their dreams.
Well my fellow Brits it’s time to fight back. Zap your accounts, bin your blogging, stop your surfing. We are going to recover the very essence of Britishness: tea and scones, tiffin, fighting the French. Back to the good old days. Rebel. Now!
photo credit: Martin Pettitt
3 Comments, Comment or Ping
Kaha
LOL - That was retty good. Just to get out my own 2cents… I don’t think that the majority of Americans hate Brits. I really like you guys and girls. The british were all really cool the last time I was over there. Now the French on the other hand… Thats another story…. }:)
Mar 25th, 2008
CC
FYI, I’m American and don’t have anything against Brits. Everyone I have met here from the UK have been very nice people. I don’t judge an individual personally based on which country they are from.
Apr 19th, 2008
Quinn
well i love everyone in everywhere but america.i love the french most of all, though, except the british have mika and the kooks….
May 17th, 2008
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