Reptilian slime bags in LA
Close your eyes and picture the thickest person you could ever imagine. Go on. Stupid lips, stupid nose, a stupid vacant look in their eyes, a stupid hat, stupid clothes. The dumbest person in the whole of dumb land. Hold that picture for a moment. Now point your browser to Reptoids.com. Take a look around. If the site all makes sense to you then flick back to your mental image of Mr or Ms Thicko. That’s you. Admit it. You’d have to be pretty darn stupid to believe what you just read. Come on now. Go slap your self in the face, grab a coffee, snap out of it. A Reptile Community - living under LA - they have to be joking right?
The folks at the Reptoid Research Center believe that there exists a whole race of super intelligent reptile based lifeforms living in hiding under LA and across the globe. These reptiles are mistakenly believed to be aliens by the less intelligent (and clearly more gullible) human race.
So what do reptoids look like? Well after a decade or more of research here is the description released by the Reptoid Research Center..
Reptoid physical forms appear to be as varied as those of humans and even more so. They share certain physical attributes such as a humanoid form (one head, two arms, two legs etc.) and some, but not all, of the following:
* Beaded or scaled skin like a lizard or serpent. The scales (scutes) are larger on broad areas such as the back and chest and the hands, face and other malleable areas of the body have small scales that allow finer flexing.
[OR, is it a sunburned human?]
* A slightly large, slightly back sloping cranium (sometimes appearing conical) with two bony ridges that begin near the brow region of the forehead and extend backwards.
[OR is it a human wearing a clown's hat?]
* Two slit or almond shaped eyes with either vertical or circular pupils (Vertical indicates adaptation to low light environments, circular to near surface or lighted environments.)
[OR is it a human with a hangover?]
* Two ears (small holes,) one on each side of their heads that may or may not be covered by thin scales.
[OR is it a human?]
* A flat and wide nose with a very little bridge area in between.
[OR is it a boxer?]
* Lipless mouths with varying dentition.
[OR is it a pre-op for a lip job?]
* Very muscular and trim torso with strong arms and legs.
[OR is it me?]
* Four to 6 digits of each hand covered by fine scales.
[OR is it a fisherman?]
* Tails that have been seen to be as long as four feet to as small as 18 inches. Some do not have tails at all, only a small bump at the base of the spine.
[OR is it a freakin lizard?]
Taking ’some but not all of the above’ we have a Reptoid that has one head, two arms, two legs, almond shaped eyes with circular pupils, two ears and a flat wide nose. That should narrow the search a bit. In fact I know just where their regular habitat is … any dance club on a Saturday night. Reptilian slime bags looking to mate. Come to think of it, the folks at the Reptoid Research Center may be right after all - except about the super intelligence.
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